Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
