my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
