her vagine was all disorganized.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
