At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
