yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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