I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize