you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
