So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
