If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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