im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
