do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
