we're chasing vodka with high fives
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
