He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
