if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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