Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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