so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
