only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
