When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
