Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize