problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
