Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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