oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This toilet bowl is my home.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
