At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
