Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
