guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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