So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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