I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
