Buhtt sex?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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