Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Vodka?
Forever.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
