Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
