Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
