all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
