Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
