he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
