Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
