i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
