U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize