The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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