Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
