Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
