i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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