I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
