Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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