I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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