People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
