Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
we're so committed to being not committed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
