I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize