Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
