i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
