I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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