Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
