Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
