when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
