He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
