i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
