He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I smell like Dick and happiness
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize