from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
