I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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