is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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