Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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