Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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