watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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