I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize